Thoughts of death plague my mind, panic flows through my body like blood through my veins, i am no longer the person I use to be, I am ruined by the hatred of others who inflicted pain and misery on my life.
They slowly grinded me down to this version of me, they bullied me psychically and emotionally, now my minds broken and I don't think it will ever fix, what shall I do but suffer in silence, drown myself in self-pity and hold hatred towards my past.
It still controls me to this day, if I kill my demons should I kill my enemies and make them suffer?
Is an eye for an eye the only solution?
Why should they have peace and happiness' if I cannot why should they be able to enjoy all the spoils in life why?
Whilst I try my best to keep myself together, struggle every day to just live, breathe why should I suffer any more in this dark abyss my mind is trapped in.
This horrible cycle of pain,regret,hatred I just want be cleansed of this pain.
You see every day is similar to the last, unbearable torment of suffering, its like a war is taking place within my own brain and i am on the losing side.
Its bad enough as the human race that we attack each other, so why must i worry about my own mind subduing and attacking me from the inside out like an uncontrollable flesh eating disease let loose upon my brain.
See i write this in the best way possible i can for people to understand the way my mind operates, and how my brain functions logically it is flawed, it breeds unnecessary thoughts, thoughts that take over all functions of the brain and affects you physically as well as mentally its a huge cross to bare.
A Lot of people struggle to understand the effects of mental health and how it affects every individual, and how it consumes your whole way of life, how it can make you feel suicidal, unloved, abandoned, crazy, alienated from everybody else a weirdo, a freak, a socialite.
I fight my own mind everyday, i try to convince myself i can overcome this and i will prosper but unfortunately i am still fighting, some days i feel like giving up.
So medication most of the time does more harm than good, the side effects alone can be harrowing and long term use will bring aboard physicality ailments in the future, i am using them fancy words because i seen them on my tablet box ha ha.
But on a serious note, the support for mental health is limited the system is flawed, unjust, and prejudice.
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